Having a Baby in the UK Vs. the US

*Note to the discerning reader: Yes, we did catch Katie before she fell all the way over.

The short version: I liked the UK experience waaay more overall. Read on if you're interested in the longer version...

I had my first two babies in the States. Justin arrived by c-section after long hours of labor in what was a fairly standard American "cascade of interventions" that ended in an emergency that probably shouldn't have happened. Nonetheless, I am most of all grateful that my Justin arrived safely and is now a happy and healthy almost-11-year-old.

Rebecca arrived via unmedicated VBAC and I went home about nine hours after her birth. I felt more in control of that birth experience, mostly because I was more mentally prepared and because I had the support of an amazing doula. I really had to fight for a natural birth, though, as Rebecca arrived two weeks late and my midwife (who I didn't prefer and who I didn't end up having for the actual birth, but that's another story) really pressured me to induce after one week. She even said things like, "I don't know what's wrong with your body, not going into labor." If it weren't for a supportive and well-educated doula to back me up I don't know what I would have done.

Anyway, Katie also arrived via unmedicated VBAC. But getting her here that way was SO much easier (in terms of not having to fight against the medical establishment, not in terms of actual labor, which was intense and made me feel like I was going to die. Just to clarify...) Anyway, here are some big differences:

1) It was assumed and encouraged that I would try for a VBAC rather than have a repeat c-section, without me having to look for a supportive care provider. The first NHS midwife I saw for prenatal care (who I ended up loving) was totally matter-of-fact and supportive. Of course I would want a VBAC! In the States, I had to specifically seek out a practice that allowed VBACs, and even then met with implicit skepticism at multiple stages.

2) After a lengthy questionnaire and interview, I was labelled low-risk and marked for midwife-led care. Here, midwives are the norm UNLESS there are medical complications that require additional support. They are very thorough in their ability to determine risks, so you get extra care if you need it, but if there are no medical complications, birth is not seen as a medical condition. So I was low-risk despite a prior caesarean and being 39.

3) Prenatal appointments were minimally invasive. I mean, SO much less invasive than in the US. As in, my kids could come to them all with no problem at all.

4) No routine GBS testing unless there are red flags. This is huge, such a source of stress for me with Rebecca because I had been positive with Justin.

5) No routine diabetes testing unless red flags. Also huge. I hated that drink that made me feel like I was going to get diabetes just from drinking it!

6) Going home right after birth was so easy here. I left a few hours after she was born with no problem at all. In the US I had to push for it and in most places would have had to sign out against medical advice.

Now, by this point you might be thinking, wow, that sounds much more dangerous...so much less medical oversight and intervention. Well, my friends, you are wrong. The infant and maternal mortality in the States is almost DOUBLE that of the UK, even when controlling for all sorts of things. The medical support exists here but only for risky cases. And to me they seem to do a really good job identifying those risks.

At the actual birth I also didn't have to insist on delayed cord clamping. That is standard procedure. Same with induction. Ended up not being an issue, but I was assured I wouldn't be pressured one week after due date at all.

And overall, the ethos was so supportive of me being in control. At essentially every juncture I was reminded that I didn't have to do anything, that it was my choice. Such a different approach to the "I'm the expert" mentality of so many health care providers in the US.

I did have a few unpleasant moments, like when the young midwife told me I "wasn't in real labor" when I first went to the hospital.  (My pain level, and the fact that Katie arrived an hour after that pronouncement speak otherwise...) But overall I would totally recommend having a baby here, even if you're old and tired :)